Loving Deeply Without Losing Myself

There is a kind of love that never questions its own existence. 
It simply is.

Love is.
It simply is.
It always was.

It finds its way into ordinary moments, familiar songs, and the silence between two people. Long before either of them understands what is happening, it has already made itself at home.

Maybe that is why it hurts so much.

Because sometimes two hearts meet while life keeps insisting they should remain apart. No one is the enemy. No one is trying to cause harm. And yet, both carry a sadness that neither of them ever wished upon the other.

I wonder if love can ache in two different hearts at the same time. If my longing somehow echoes inside his silence. If the distance that protects him also wounds him.

We speak so often about the pain of the one who waits, but rarely about the pain of the one who feels unable to move. Perhaps they are different expressions of the same sorrow.

Love has a curious way of confronting us with ourselves. It reveals not only how deeply we are capable of loving another person, but also how easily we can begin to lose ourselves inside that love.

Somewhere between hope and fear, we slowly stop asking whether the other person is all right and forget to ask the same question of ourselves.

Maybe that is why my heart refuses to choose between holding on and letting go. Neither feels true. Letting go feels like denying something beautiful simply because it cannot become what I imagined. Holding on too tightly feels like asking love to carry a weight it was never meant to bear.

Perhaps love is not asking me to close the door, nor to remain standing in it forever waiting. Maybe it is asking me to leave the door gently open, while continuing to walk my own path.

To allow love to exist without allowing it to become my entire existence. To believe that something can be profoundly meaningful without needing to possess it.

Because the greatest tragedy would be losing myself while loving him.

And maybe, in ways I will never completely know, he is trying not to lose himself while loving me too.

So this is where I have found my peace, at least for today.

❤️
I don't want to let him go. Not now. 
I don't want to hold on too tightly. 
I just don't want to lose myself while loving him so deeply.
❤️

Perhaps that is all love ever asks....